What can I stick to on my worst day?

You can debate all you want on discipline vs motivation, you think you can teach grit. Let me tell you something… some days ya got it, and some days you don’t. Some days you want it more and some days you could rest. You’re human- I can’t drill discipline or motivation in you as a coach. Don’t come to me for either, I’m here to support and guide you. 

So instead of thinking a coach is a drill sergeant, let me ask you this: what can you stick to on your worst day?

And tell me, what does your worst day look like? Is it work that’s bogging you down? Are you a parent? (Parents, are super heroes, can we acknowledge that?) Do you have family demands? Where is your energy and attention going that’s taking away your desire to at least get some movement in for yourself and your care?

Feels different than discipline, motivation, or grit. Feels a little less intimidating. It’s not a demand, it’s a privilege and an opportunity to have a moment to yourself.

That’s the foundation of the method.

It’s more about how you feel getting to be active and eat healthy, it’s more about making small daily commitments. It’s more about setting a standard for yourself, where else do you accept nothing as the minimum standard and expect a healthy relationship? So now apply that to yourself, your relationship with physical activity, and your relationship with food. Your relationship with mobility. What’s the minimum for you?

A new minimum standard I set for myself within the last two years: reading. It was too broad, too big, too general. I wasn’t as committed, I’d be on and off, I’d drop the ball and get distracted… I got more specific: read 10 pages a day. I can do that. It’s not a chapter… because you know how some chapters can be! Ten pages? Ten pages. How about a 20 minute walk? Three times a week. Minimum. Then while I’ve got you there, lets say we stretch for 5-10 minutes too- at least after one walk.

It’s not discipline or motivation, it’s still not grit. It’s an understanding that something is better than nothing and it doesn’t have to be all of it all at once.

It’s not cutting out every carb or, as my pops would say “I’m not eating sawdust and dirt!” as his blood type is extra sicilian with gluten positive. How about we look at your days, weeks, meals, lifestyle, cravings, and personality and map it out with some negotiation and numbers? If you have 3 meals a day, that’s 21 meals a week. They say 80/20 is the rule. So if you stick to your “diet” (not a diet, it’s strict choices) for the 80% of 21 meals that’s 16.8 meals. So you’ve got 4-5 cheat meals a week. Now you have a night with friends or a business dinner, we use those so you can enjoy your social and business life- you could be strict and save that cheat meal. That’s your cheat meal bank. But that means there’s 2-3 other meals in the week that you don’t have to eat my fathers “sawdust and dirt” vision: do you get coffee and a pastry with a friend? That’s my fave. Try a new recipe, make a comfort food, it’s okay to not feel guilty for eating what’s “in the (cheat meal) bank”.

Does it seem like a more sustainable answer when it comes to food? It’s not grit. It’s not grits either unless you’re into them. It’s a little discipline, I trust you have the motivation. So is a cheat meal bank a new minimum for you? On your worst day, it means you have a cheat meal in the bank at least. And it goes without saying that once you have the “allowance”, your relationship with food relaxes, your relationship with yourself softens… It doesn’t have to be so rigid.

I invite you to start having that conversation with yourself, you’d be surprised how much more fruitful your efforts will be when you set a clear minimum standard for your worst days.